Christmas …. *sigh…
Has always been an interesting time hasn’t it?
I mean, all this anticipation and expectation of family, family gatherings and the ‘usual’ catch up with all those far away relatives you don’t see all year…
I’ve always found Christmas to be semi sweet with a twist of sour.
Growing up I had a large-ish extended family, however, I was an only child. Christmas morning wasn’t that ‘kids running to the Christmas tree’ excitement that you see in the movies. It wasn’t a big thing. Being the only child in the house, it was just me running to the Christmas tree early in the morning. It was always so quiet, as I’d be the first one to wake. I’d sit there patiently, looking eagerly at the presents under the tree and waiting for the slightest hint of a noise coming from my parents bedroom that I could then turn into ‘they’re awake!’ and run in. For me personally, Christmas morning always seemed slightly tinted with a lonely streak - as - it was just me.
The best Christmas I had was when my parents were still together. I may have been around about five. My father under instruction of my mother, built me what we call a cubby house. It was the shed part of a car port. Inside the slide door at the front was my very own upstairs/downstairs, human size, doll house. A little ladder let me climb to the upper level with the mini bed, mini kitchen, little window with even a curtain, tea sets, teddy bears etc etc etc. Heaven for a 5 year old, only child, with her make believe family of teddy bears, tea parties and more. It was a tightly kept secret by my parents in the days leading up to Christmas and whilst my Dad was building and decorating the space. My Dad worked on it after I’d gone to bed in the evenings for at least a month (probably more). Once Christmas morning finally came round, there was a ‘Santa’ trail - Gasp!, Great excitement from me! Santa had left a trail of paper flowers for me to follow and at the end was the ‘Shed’ with a big red bow across the handle of the sheds door. My parents were both excited for me to finally see wat was inside. ‘Open the door! Open the door, Nicole’. For a Santa believing five year old - it was mind blowing. I just couldn’t believe how Santa had gotten my cubby house there… When did he do it? How did it get here? Did Santa bring this whole shed on his sleigh??? Haha - the questions were endless…
Its been hard to beat that Christmas ever since.
Once you grow up, Christmas becomes something quite different. In the teenage years, its always, *eye rolling - I never get what I want.. Socks! - Argghhh …who needs ‘em? And not only the presents that don’t ever seem to be just the right thing, there’s the interaction with your parents, grandparents, extended family.. *sigh. The never ending and repeated questions about school. What’s your favourite subject? What do you want to do when you leave school? How are your grades? Same questions by every new member of the family that comes in the door….
By this stage in my life, my Mum was on her third marriage. My five Step siblings were perhaps, well - ordinary ‘Steps’ - I guess. In their minds I was the youngest and not particularly interesting, so the pressure I felt on Christmas Day was even worse than with my own family from the years before. These people were not ‘my’ people. They weren’t exactly related to me, they weren’t particularly nice to me and my Mother was forever wanting me to just ‘fit in’. In her mind (which she later confessed to me to be so), she just wanted me to be nice, friendly, talkative and just not make any waves that her husband could then bring back on her later, about ‘me’. You get it, I’m sure. All that pressure and for what ? All that ‘trying to fit in’….
And then, all of a sudden, you are older, married, with your own children and all that fun sits on ‘your’ shoulders. I have some really fond memories from when my kids were younger. We were living in Bucharest at the time. I home schooled my kids for a few years there, their early school years, and Christmas was always THE time in the year where all the arts and crafts products were in high demand. It was a dominant teaching tool for the month of December. The kids loved it. All that red, gold and glitter, old time Christmas songs and it SNOWED! - a lot!… (Eastern European winter) - definitely a big Wow! and Oh so seasonal, for this very Aussie, ‘Aussie’ who was only ever used to a Hot Christmas. A very sweet and special time for us all.
During this time it was popular for Carol singers to walk the streets, in the snow, come door to door (for a little hand-out of a some cash or a hot drink), and sing Christmas Carols. Another group would be the singing Santa’s. The Santa’s were naturally a favourite with the kids. The whole time was just a special time and I’m actually so glad to have had this experience with them. The snow, the lights, the traditional Christmas markets, home with their Mum and parties with friends. Seasonal and oh so festive. My kids do say, which is wonderful, that this time in Bucharest, was a time that they will always remember fondly, forever. We lived there for almost 6 years.
Its hard to beat those early days really. When we first moved to Europe from Australia. After Romania, we then moved to the UK, where things, not surprisingly were just a tad different. It has its own seasonal festivities and the kids will have memories here too, but, there was definitely something magical about the far away, unique and unusual Country of Romania. A place to not only revisit personally but also in another post or two later.
Well, on that note, I’m going bid you farewell. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas break and Happy Holidays. Make memories for the days in the future and for those one’s dear to your heart. Take a minute and don’t be shy about it. Wishing you all that you wish for yourself, and to just, - take it Easy ! -
Go easy on yourself, Go easy on your loved one’s, Go easy on your family and Go easy on your friends. All those people you only see once a year or even those people you live with and see day in and day out. Take it Easy. With love to you all.
Xxx
OMG. I love this. I wrote a piece recently about Christmas. Yes. It's bittersweet.
Sure is .... :)